QuiGon's Phobia
by Serra-Of-Many-Names
Summary: Obi-Wan and his friends try to rid Qui-Gon of an unusual phobia...
1. Default Chapter

Qui-Gon Jinn walked into his room and immediately checked under the bed. Nothing there but dust bunnies. He checked his closet, every drawer in the room, the windows, the holoprojector, dark spaces behind furniture, and the tiny gap underneath the door. Nothing there either.  
  
He wiped sweat from his face. That was silly, Qui-Gon. There was nothing to be afraid of...  
  
Then he saw it. It was so terrifying, so blinding, so...close that he was unable to do anything but stand at stare at it. At the top of his window, taped to the inside...  
  
PINK!  
  
* * *  
  
Tahl sighed as she heard the scream. "Obi-Wan, all you did is possibly traumatize him for life. Now he's gonna do...that thing again."  
  
Obi-Wan, Bant, and Tahl ran to Qui-Gon's open door. Qui-Gon was hurriedly spraying everything in the room with antiseptic spray. The pink sock lay a few inches outside the door. Bant picked it up. "Master Qui-Gon, if I may say so, you are being entirely irrational."  
  
"Get it out!" Qui-Gon shouted, disinfecting the closet door. Speckles of dark green paint stained the bed and window.  
  
Obi-Wan frowned. "What's that?" he asked, pointing to the paint.  
  
"Dark green and pink are complementary colours," Bant realized. Catching a confused look from Obi-Wan, she added, "That means they're opposites."  
  
"He's going to ruin his room. Again." Tahl put her head in her hand. "Master Windu will be furious."  
  
"He's going to need new robes, too," Bant added, pointing to the scene in Qui-Gon's bedroom. Qui-Gon was slathering his robes in dark green paint.  
  
Although Tahl could not see what was going on in the room, she could almost picture it. "I'm going to bed," she moaned, walking out of Obi-Wan and Qui- Gon's quarters.  
  
Bant shrugged. "I might as well go too. I'll bring some cleaner in the morning, Obi."  
  
Obi-Wan made a small sound in response and went into his Master's room. "Master, why are you so scared of pink? It's just a colour!"  
  
"It's not just a colour, it's a menace!" Qui-Gon shouted, spraying Obi-Wan vigorously with antiseptic.  
  
Obi-Wan coughed and spat on his hand. "Master, what are you doing? You're going to make me sick!"  
  
"Well, don't breathe, then!" Qui-Gon ran over to disinfect the window where the sock had been.  
  
"That's it!" Obi-Wan turned to leave the room. "I'm scrubbing this junk off me and then I'm going to bed!"  
  
"Wait!" Qui-Gon called after him. Obi-Wan turned. Qui-Gon shook the antiseptic bottle and looked at his Padawan.  
  
"Could you look to see if we have any more antiseptic?" 


	2. Chapter 2

"This whole thing is getting entirely out of control." Obi-Wan placed his head on the table and slowly began banging it.  
  
Bant grabbed Obi-Wan's head and pulled him into a sitting position. "Obi- Wan, don't do that, you'll hurt yourself. And besides, there has to be something we can do."  
  
"Immersion therapy?" Reeft suggested, taking a huge bite of whatever was on his plate.  
  
"Tried it." Bant winced, remembering the incident. "Master Qui-Gon didn't come out of the 'fresher for days."  
  
"Hypnosis?" Garen volunteered.  
  
"Tried it." Obi-Wan lowered his head again, dangerously close to banging it again.  
  
Bant pulled him up again. "Easy, boy. Don't lose it."  
  
Obi-Wan removed Bant's hands from his head and ran a hand through his hair. Reeft tried again. "Gradual exposure?"  
  
"That was the one we tried last night...and, well, you know what happened," Obi-Wan replied. He sighed. "I guess there's only one thing we can do now..."  
  
"What's that?" asked Garen interestedly.  
  
"Give in." Obi-Wan's head hit the table.  
  
Bant stood up on her chair. "Obi-Wan, there is no such word as 'can't' in this matter. Quitting is for...well, quitters. And I, for one, am not a quitter!" Cheers and whistles answered this outburst from all over the cafeteria.  
  
"Bant!" Obi-Wan blushed and tugged her pant leg. "Get off of there! You'll fall! And, besides, people are staring."  
  
Bant took her seat. "As I was about to say, there's always a solution in these problems. What do you say? Are you with me?"  
  
"I'm in!" Garen and Reeft exclaimed in unison. Bant looked at Obi-Wan.  
  
Obi-Wan sighed. "All right. I'm in."  
  
"Great!" Bant grinned at her friends. "Now..."  
  
* * *  
  
"Sit down, Master. You're way too nervous." Obi-Wan motioned toward the chair in the middle of the room. "It won't be so bad."  
  
Qui-Gon stared at his Padawan. "Not so bad? Not so bad? How can it not be so bad? You're going to expose me to...to...to pink!"  
  
Obi-Wan led his Master to the chair. "Just relax. It's only pink."  
  
"Only pink? Only--"  
  
Qui-Gon was quickly silenced by Obi-Wan's tying a scarf over his mouth, then quickly tying him to the chair.  
  
Bant, Garen, and Reeft entered, dressed in pink. Qui-Gon would have run away, if Obi-Wan hadn't tied him so securely. Obi-Wan removed the scarf from his mouth.  
  
Bant pulled up another chair and sat down. "Now, Master Qui-Gon, there is a reason for your fear of pink, and as soon as we find it, your phobia will disperse. Have you had any major experiences with pink in the past?"  
  
Qui-Gon nodded, too terrified by the appearance of pink to speak.  
  
Bant nodded and wrote it down. "Okay. Was this experience unpleasant?"  
  
Qui-Gon nodded. Bant wrote it down. "Master Jinn, I know this is hard for you, but can you recollect this experience?"  
  
Qui-Gon found his voice. "Okay. When I was twelve or thirteen, there was a store I used to visit a lot. The interior of the store was entirely pink. One day, I went to the store and bought, um, something..."  
  
Bant interrupted him. "Master Jinn, in order to fully understand your phobia, I have to know what kind of store it was."  
  
Qui-Gon began to sweat. "It was...a dolly shop."  
  
Garen, Reeft, and Obi-Wan were immediately on the floor, laughing hysterically. Bant glared at them. "Stop it!" She turned her attention back to Qui-Gon. "Master Jinn, continue."  
  
"Okay." Qui-Gon took a deep breath. "It seems that a group of boys I knew had a crush on one of the women who worked there. They saw me standing there with my purchases, and, well, that was the day everyone found out I played with dolls.  
  
"I was ridiculed for months, maybe years after that. I never went back to that store. But what I remember most are the pink walls."  
  
"Okay." Bant looked at Qui-Gon. "Master Jinn, you can overcome this phobia if you want to. You just have to understand that it wasn't your fault those boys caught you in that store. So, you played with dolls. So what? When Garen was little, he played with Magical Pony Princesses."  
  
Obi-Wan and Reeft began to laugh again. Garen turned too many shades of red to count. "Bant! Stop it!"  
  
"That's exactly what I mean." Bant jabbed a finger in Garen's direction. "You men need to understand that it's not the worst thing in the world to be a little effeminate! Now, Master Jinn, where exactly was this shop of yours?"  
  
* * *  
  
"So, this entire pink phobia--all the dark green paint, all the antiseptic-- all of that was due to my experience with the dolly shop?" Qui-Gon asked incredulously.  
  
"Well, that's what Jiki Jackson, author of How To Be a Mind Healer in Three Days or Less, would have said." Bant gave Qui-Gon a light shove. "Go on! What's the worst that could happen?"  
  
"He could have a panic attack in the middle of the store, black out, and cause extreme embarassment," Obi-Wan answered for Qui-Gon.  
  
Bant glared at Obi-Wan. "Stop putting ideas in his head."  
  
"Okay, I'm ready now." Qui-Gon took a deep breath, and they all walked forward--  
  
BONK!  
  
Qui-Gon lay flat on the floor in the dolly shop, a result of a lowered ceiling that was far, far too low for a man his size. A store employee ran over to him. "Sir? Are you okay?"  
  
"Jhuigrasgh...." Qui-Gon sat up. "Hey! That probably illegal book worked! It's incredible--I'm not afraid of pink anymore!"  
  
Bant, Obi-Wan, Garen, and Reeft cheered.  
  
Qui-Gon sat up, ready to jump to his feet. "Come on, Obi-Wan. I want to face the world as a new man!"  
  
"Master, NO!" Obi-Wan cried, just before the inevitable BONK!  
  
Qui-Gon was out cold...again. 


End file.
